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The Effects of Air Pressure On The Individual

Nobody cares how I
feel anymore. It
seems that I don't
even exist to some
people. I feel
alienated because it
seems that I'm
always on the
outside, looking
in. Alone. That's
one word that sums
up my problem. I'm
so alone. Nobody
notices me. I'm
just another ugly
face weaving its way
around the school.
No one pays
attention,
especially the one
who counts most. My
life is hardly worth
living. It doesn't
really matter, no
one cares. I
wouldn't make any
difference to
anybody. My life is
pointless. There
isn't any need to go
on. I'm sure you're
tired of listening
to what you think of
as my 'petty
problems'. Sure.
You've got problems
of your own. I can
respect that.
Ignore me again.
I'm used to it. I
can take it. Don't
worry about me. I
won't be around here
much longer. Not
that you seem to
care at all. No one
does, you know.
They just all
pretend. They're
getting good at it
too. I was fooled,
for awhile. Nothing
but cardboard
cutouts, making
theirway through
life, put on earth
to make losers like
me feel needed. But
every once in awhile
they fail to talk to
one person and that
person discovers
what they truly are
and that life is
truly not worth
living. Look at me.
I'm a prime example.
They overlooked me
in the halls today
and now I know what
I put everyone
through, with them
having to be nice to
me. I pity them for
it, but I also feel
a great respect for
them, having to put
up with me all this
time, and I haven't
heard one complaint
yet. I'm running
out of time here,
the poison is
supposed to take
effect in four to
five minutes. Not
much longer now.
It's easier to bear
the pain of my
existence when I
know the pain will
end soon. The
loneliness will end
soon. All my
suffering, thinking
things might get
better, will be
over. I could have
left without a note,
leaving you to
believe that I was
always fooled by
your tricks, but
maybe if I leave an
analog of what led
up to these events,
like we do in
school, you might
not lose anyone else
and no one will find
the pain I found
when you ignored me
in the halls that
day.

I sat down in front of a library computer in grade 9 at lunch.. set huge margins and typed. And typed. Poured my heart and soul into the green and black screen (yeah I know crappy computers) and this is what the result was. No editing, no polishing.. just 100% raw emotion.

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